Hi everyone. My name is Billie. My mistress tells me that someone called Featured_Grownups is interested in knowing something about me. She says that this Featured_Grownups person (and a whole bunch of other folks) lives inside this infernal contraption I'm banging on with my paws, and that if I'm real careful, all this banging will make some sense to y'all. I don't know nothin' about all that stuff, but I trust her, so if you really want to know something about me and my life, here it is.
I'm an English Cocker Spaniel. English! That's very important. I am definitely not that little imitation Spaniel that most Americans think of. That means I'm not a lap dog. I weigh almost 15 pounds more and I'm about 3" taller than that other guy. I'm also longer, and I don't bark as much; but when I do bark, it sounds like it's coming all the way from my back end (if you know what I mean). In other words, I have a deep, husky bark sufficient enough to give any intruder a reason to reconsider his action. But just between you and me, it's all noise. I wouldn't hurt anyone. And besides, I don't bark at strangers. I like people. My mistress taught me that.
They tell me that I'm six years old now, or about 36 in human years, and that I was born in a place called Florida. I don't remember much about my first five years, and no one seems to be able to tell me anything about them. All I know for sure is that I remember moving around a lot in search for food. Then one day some folks tried to catch me and put me in a truck, but I outsmarted them. I ran and hid; but they were persistent. I kept them hopping for 4 or 5 weeks before one of them got lucky and hit me with a throwing net, causing me to get my feet all tangled up. Then he put me in a cage like some common animal from the more wild parts of the world. It wasn't fair, them treatin' me like that, 'ya know. I mean it's not like I was a cat or something worse.
Anyway, after a few weeks I'd just about given up hope of ever getting out of that cage when one day this nice lady came along and rescued me. I didn't even know her, but she got me out of the prison, so I knew she couldn't be all bad. She took me to her home in Northern Virginia.
I was kind of scared at first, but she treats me real good. I get to eat regular meals without having to hunt all day for what scraps I can find, and there's always plenty of fresh water, though if the truth be known, I still like to sneak some drinks out of roadside puddles when she's not looking. She even bought me a nice winter coat, which sure came in handy during the long cold spell we had up here in the north country this year. She also bought some things she calls toys. I don't see too much use for them, but once in a while I like to rub myself against them when I'm not otherwise engaged in more important things like taking a nap on this really nice bed she bought for me.
My mistress and I go for some nice walks several times everyday. That's really cool. I like to go walking in the fresh air and smelling the nice green grass. I think my mistress does too -- the air part at least. She doesn't seem to like the grass smelling part as much as I do, but that's okay. The only thing is that she won't walk as fast as I want to walk, and she won't let me run and chase the squirrels and the rabbits and the cats. I miss that. You see, I was born to the field, meaning that my nature is to hunt and to chase down small game. This lady, as nice as she is, won't let me do that except when she takes me to someplace she calls a dog park. I like the dog park, because I can run free there. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be as many rabbits and squirrels there as in the neighborhood where I live, but the ground is covered with the scent of many animals, so I know it's only a question of time before I spot them, and the chase will be on.
Oh well, I guess that's a small enough price to pay for the benefits of having a real home -- especially when she gets down on the floor and starts to rub my belly. Ahhh. Heaven on earth.
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